I Win, You Win: The Essential Guide to Principled Negotiation

Carl Lyons

Language: English

Pages: 224

ISBN: 0713677058

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Negotiation is an essential skill in all areas of life. It is a series of maneuvers that we move through in order to get the best possible deal for ourselves, our company, or our organization. How far we will go to achieve our goals is where the rub lies. Full of useful exercises, case studies, and accessible advice, this book will help readers achieve their goals by showing them how to prepare effectively, build rapport, communicate openly, and enhance trust in their business.

Carl Lyons is a life coach and organizational training consultant. He spent ten years working for ICI in a variety of senior roles before setting up his own company, ReCreate. During his time at ICI, Lyons trained executives in the techniques of ethical negotiation. His first book, Skilful Living, was published in 2004.

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any generosity. It may be better to leave the informal activities until after the agreements have been made. Building relationships The more quickly you can build a constructive relationship with the person you are negotiating with, the better. It is easy to attribute sinister and destructive intent to some nameless, faceless entity, but very difficult once you meet the person face to face. The sooner you can get to know somebody and the more you find out about their communication style,

that the other party’s perceptions are not important is tantamount to saying, they themselves are not important. You are very unlikely to make any lasting agreements with that kind of relationship. We’ve already said that there is usually a positive intention behind most people’s behaviour, even if you don’t understand or agree with it. From their perspective, they are usually trying to improve a situation that is beneficial to them, and their behaviour and any position they take will be

people at work during meetings, or it could be with people you have never met before. Notice the effect it has on the quality of your communication with them. Once you feel you have a greater connection through the matching, try to pace them and guide the communication in particular directions. Again, you may be surprised at how powerful the results are. Remember to conduct this exercise with subtlety and respect for the other person; it is not a form of manipulation. Once you have identified

example, earlier we described a real project where the residents clashed with the development company who were transporting materials through a residential area to construct a new railway station. The residents’ spokesperson built some rapport with the construction manager by demonstrating an understanding of his interests, but at the same time needed to change his perceptions and raise his concerns about the residents’ interests. When she said, ‘I’ve already explained that we fully understand

diners but also provides fresh air. Both diners are satisfied with the outcome. Without understanding the values of each party it would have been very easy to get locked into a positional stance about whether the door should be open or closed. The more we identify with a position, the harder it is to move and the more it takes attention from the real, underlying interests that we are trying to satisfy. Behind every position there is a value. If you want your kids to go to bed at 8.30, then that

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