Love Your Enemies: How to Break the Anger Habit & Be a Whole Lot Happier

Sharon Salzberg

Language: English

Pages: 216

ISBN: 1401928153

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

    When people and circumstances upset us, how do we deal with them? Often, we feel victimized. We become hurt, angry, and defensive. We end up seeing others as enemies, and when things don’t go our way, we become enemies to ourselves.

    But what if we could move past this pain, anger, and defensiveness?

    Inspired by Buddhist philosophy, this book introduces us to the four kinds of enemies we encounter in life: the outer enemy, people, institutions, and situations that mean to harm us; the inner enemy, anger, hatred, fear, and other destructive emotions; the secret enemy, self-obsession that isolates us from others; and the super-secret enemy, deep-seated self-loathing that prevents us from finding inner freedom and true happiness.

    In this practical guide, we learn not only how to identify our enemies, but more important, how to transform our relationship to them. Love Your Enemies teaches us how to . . .

break free from the mode of “us” versus “them” thinking


develop compassion, patience, and love


accept what is beyond our control


embrace lovingkindness, right speech, and other core concepts


    Throughout, authors Sharon Salzberg and Robert Thurman share stories and exercises for achieving finding peace within yourself and with the world. Drawing from ancient spiritual wisdom and modern psychology, Love Your Enemies presents tools that are useful for all readers.

Only Don't Know: Selected Teaching Letters of Zen Master Seung Sahn

Indian Buddhist Philosophy: Metaphysics as Ethics (Ancient Philosophies)

Zen Koan as a Means of Attaining Enlightenment













addiction to anger, aiming for love pushes us too far. It is unrealistic to expect to immediately switch from anger and hate to compassion and love. Patience is the middle ground, the place of tolerance, forbearance, and in time, forgiveness. We might still be irritated when we are harmed (or think we are harmed), but we will not lose ourselves to anger so long as we can tolerate the irritation, be patient with the harm and the harmer, refrain from reacting vengefully, and maybe even forgive the

instinctual and habitual immersion in narrow selfishness. What we need to do now is to be altruistic without fail. Motivation is the key. We need to constantly examine and reform our motivation. If we do great things but they never seem to succeed, perhaps our motivation was narrowly selfish. If we seek fame and profit only for ourselves, the greatest deed will go sour. We will feel unsatisfied and want more, and others will sense the lack of heart in our efforts and lose interest. But when we

our natural life of freedom and happiness. With your great compassion, save me from such downward evolution, From foolish acts that power the wheel of desire. I pray for you to triumph over my false self! Conquer this negative self, deluded self, Self-absolutizing self, megalomaniac self! I implore you to triumph over it! I cry out to you, glorious Yamantaka! Take all possible miseries of life, Not only my own but those of every being, Pile them up on my self-addiction. Let my

finding happiness, since we immeasurably intensify our loving care for ourselves and others. The further implication of this infinite-life context is that all living beings are just the same as us. All of them have been living beginninglessly, just like us, and will continue to live endlessly, just like us. We have had infinite chances of engaging with them an infinite number of times, as they have had with us. And we have been, and will remain, infinitely engaged with all of them. Our

which if we saw someone abusing or harming someone else, we were totally committed to making sure they stopped, as well as to protecting the vulnerable and understanding how the brutality began in the first place? Imagine if our approach to ending violence was determinedly nonviolent. Imagine if instead of rushing to punish and vilify the offender, we paid equal attention to knowing the story of the abuser. That would make it possible to mete out punishment appropriate to the guilty while also

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